


And if you asked me if I love her, I'd lie.

by PeskyPendragon



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21869791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeskyPendragon/pseuds/PeskyPendragon
Summary: Life is hard when you fall in love with someone who was literally thrown into your life. But college is the time to be free, be your own person, kiss all the people you want! Except things change when the one person you were just starting to get over, becomes your new roommate.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24
Collections: Secret Kalex Santa 2019





	And if you asked me if I love her, I'd lie.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eloquentdrivil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eloquentdrivil/gifts).



> Happy [Kalex Secret Santa!](https://secretkalexsanta.tumblr.com/) I'm back at it this year! this time for: [EloquentDrivil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EloquentDrivil) | [of-suns-and-guns](https://of-suns-and-guns.tumblr.com/) I hope they enjoy it and I hope anyone else who reads it does too!

Whoever said High School is the best years of your life was clearly on something strong and they should have shared. Truly, everyone knows College is really where it’s at. Not only do you have the freedom to do what you like, but you only have to take classes you like, your away from the ever present wandering eye of parents, you can kiss who you want to kiss, you can party all night and go straight to class right after, it’s truly heaven! And it had been the one thing Alex Danvers had been counting down the days till since she was sixteen years old. And now she was into her second year of College, she was excelling in her Bio Engineering path, she’d made some pretty great friends which was a new entity in in-itself. Life was actually looking pretty good, until that fateful day when a certain blonde had made her way back into her life.

Returning to her dorm after class Alex nearly jumped out of her skin to find her usually empty room had an occupant. And that occupant was the girl she’d shared a room with for the past five years.

“K-Kara? Jeeze, you scared the crap out of me. What are you doing here? Is Mom okay? Do I need to pack a backpack, do I have time for that, do...How did you even get in here?” Alex rambled, already starting to scurry around the room to get things prepared for a quick exit.

“Hi Alex! No Eliza is fine, she...Alex, Alex hey-” Soft hands reached out to engolved scarred ones, which finally had Alex stopping her movements to glace up to meet Kara’s gaze. “Everything is fine, and I’m actually here with exciting news! I’m your new roommate!”

It was such a simple thing, and Kara was so excited when she delivered the news but Alex had truly felt like she’d just left her body and was watching the whole scene play out. “I’m sorry your...what now?”

“Your new roommate,” Kara repeated, with the same amount of enthusiasm.

“But your...Aren’t you still in High School? How are you...And why roommates?”

“Well, I mean we all know that I am over intelligent, so I graduated early and Eliza recommended that I move to National City as well since you know, your here and it could be a good start and I applied to the University and I got in! And the dean must have just noticed we have the same last name and booked us as roomies! It’ll be great! It’ll be just like old times and we can have sleepovers and movie nights and I can’t wait!”

“Uh huh...I need a drink.” Alex mumbled, finally unlacing their hands in favor of walking to her bedside table, tugging it open and pulling out the half empty scotch bottle from the drawer, wasting little time in taking a swig from it.

“I...I thought you’d be more excited to see me,” Glancing up and noticing the puppy eyes Kara was giving her Alex felt that annoying twinge in her chest she hadn’t felt for the last year, the one she had finally gotten rid of when she’d left for school. 

“I am excited Kara. But this is...my thing. It was supposed to be my thing and now your just...It’s just a bit to adjust to okay? It’s not you.”

“It sure seems like it’s me.”

Sighing deeply Alex took another, longer drink from the bottle before tucking it back in it’s safe place. “Look Kara, I’m excited to see you, I’m proud of you for getting into the school, it’s all just a bit of a shock okay? I have to head to class but I’ll see you later okay?”

“Okay...See you later,”

The moment she had her backpack over her shoulder and the door shut behind her Alex couldn’t help the internal sigh that took over her body.

It could have been anyone. Anyone but Kara. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Kara, they were practically sisters given the situation but the issue was that she liked Kara a bit too much. She had ever since she was fifteen and Kara was so bright eyed and hopeful and excited about the world that Alex had already started hating. It wasn’t until she’d gotten older that she realized she was in love with the other woman, and by then they were in way too deep playing family for anything to ever come of it, which was also when Alex had started looking forward to college more and more, it would be her time to get away, her time to get over all of these feelings and it was working! For the past year she’d only had to see Kara a couple times a year for holidays and at that point they both had so much to talk about and catch up on that Alex didn’t worry about those pesky feelings making their way back up but now, not only was Kara at the same school as her which meant daily interactions, Kara was her roommate...Again. 

As if it wasn’t hard enough the first time around not to kiss her. Now was just going to be a living hell.

“Fuck,”

****

Considering the fact she didn’t actually have another class to go to Alex felt even more guilty as the hours went on. She went to the library, she went to a nearby bar, it was just a lot. And truly she knew the whole ‘woe is me this beautiful girl who loves and adores me is back in my life’ attitude was annoying and petty, but she couldn’t help it. After all if she ever told Kara how she felt it wouldn’t end well and considering she already hated feelings and thinking about them and admitting to their awful existence, the fact she could already feel butterflies in her stomach at the thought of Kara being so close again had her ordering another shot before making her way back to her now shared dorm.

As much as she had wanted to stay frustrated and in her little inner battle of self loathing Alex couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips upon the image she was met with as she walked back into her room: Kara hanging up a space poster on the wall and there was now a framed picture of the two of them placed on the nearby bedside table.

“Kara...I...I’m sorry about how I reacted before. You just took me off guard that’s all but I’m really happy that you are here and I’ve missed you a lot.” she admitted, sliding her backpack off and setting it by the door.

“I missed you too Alex! A lot actually. Midvale wasn’t much fun without you, and I was thinking about it while you were gone and I realize I probably should have warned you but I honestly didn’t know about the roommate thing and if you want I can ask to change rooms and I-” Kara’s ramble turned into a small squeak as she was pulled into a tight hug.

“You don’t need to switch rooms Starshine. I want you here,” Alex murmured into soft blonde hair, cursing the way her heart and stomach were fluttering at the familiar scent and familiar feeling of having Kara in her arms. 

Yes, this was going to be hell but truly, it could be a lot worse than being around literal sunshine every day. And Kara did brighten her life, as much as she hated to admit it.

“There’s uh...A party tonight, would you maybe want to go to it with me? I could show you around campus too.” Alex asked, reluctantly pulling away and instantly tucking her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. Resisting temptation, well played Danvers.

“Sure! That sounds really fun! I’ll just get changed.”

*****

College parties were always a great idea, they meant a lot of booze and most of the time someone with rich parents would bring the majority of it to buy everyone’s favors which Alex had to admit, for the first time in her life she was thankful for those rich parents as she downed her second bottle of beer and was making her way to grab a third.

Showing Kara around campus had actually been rather fun, the blonde was eager and excited, so much so that she even took notes and drew little maps. It was all very cute and actually had Alex feeling a little excited about school again which was also a rare feeling. 

Clearly her feelings were just all over the fuckin’ map today.

But sweet sweet salvation was close she thought as her fingers curled around the neck of a chilled beer bottle, taking a moment to snap the lid off on the edge of the counter she hummed contently to herself, about to take a sip when Kara popped up in front of her, causing her to jump once more.

“Okay, we really need to work on this whole scaring the crap out of me thing,” Alex huffed, taking a swig of her beer before her gaze lingered on Kara a little longer, noticing the girl looking eager and excited about something. “Uh oh, what are you planning?”

“I volunteered us for one of the games! And they are going to start soon!” Kara chirped, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet.

“Yeah no, no damn way Kara. I’m not playing any cheesy games.”

“Oh come on! Please! It’ll be fun. Just one? And then we won’t have to again I swear. Please Alex!”

“Oh no, don’t you puppy eyes me..It won’t work. I’m telling you it...dammit Kara. Fine, let’s get this over with.”

Chugging a good portion of her beer Alex let Kara lead her into the crowds and back over to the group all sprawled around furniture and on the floor. It didn’t take long for Alex’s beer to completely disappear, especially after she learnt the game they were playing. Seven Minutes In Heaven.

Honestly, how old where they. But just as she was about to say no way in hell, Kara shot her those puppy eyes again and Alex just sighed as she sunk into her spot on the floor, figuring if anything she could just knee some dude in the crotch if he tried to get a little too handsy.

The game seemed to drag on and everyone around her was far too drunk, but watching Kara laugh and interact and meet new people, it really was a joy. As silly and lame as that sounded. Though once it was Kara’s turn Alex found herself sitting up a bit straighter, trying to shoot mental laser beams at the people around them, as the thought hit her that one of these idiots might actually try touching Kara. Her Kara.

“Alex!” The moment her name was said Alex noticed Kara instantly looking shy and hesitant. After all no one knew they had a past or that they even knew each other. But also while she didn’t believe in any higher power Alex had to admit, she was pretty damn thankful right now. 

“Me? Okay cool, let’s go.” She mused, finishing her beer and setting the bottle aside before she stood up, taking Kara’s arm and tugging her towards the designated closet, ignoring the amounts of ‘oo’s and cheers following after them.

“Alex, you know this is kind of cheating, I mean I think the whole point of the game is to meet new people,” Kara pointed out once they were locked away from the rest of the party, basically no space between them and the only thing lighting up the room was a tiny drawstring light bulb.

“This game isn’t really about new people Kar, it’s more so about getting felt up in a dusty broom closet. At least this way we can just hang out and I won’t have to fight anyone for touching you,”

“Why would you fight them though, I mean that’s the point of the game and I mean everyone is really nice and I’m sure it would all be consent and we could just ask people twenty questions! I mean seven minutes is a long time and-”

“I don’t want anyone else to touch you okay. Especially not...In a situation like this,” Alex found herself blurting out, instantly scolding herself as she glanced down at her feet, which just caused her head to be tilted closer to Kara’s face. 

“W-Why not?” Kara asked quietly, leaning down a little to meet Alex’s gaze, in which she had to silently curse Kara’s height advantage. “Alex? Talk to me.”

“I...” Sighing Alex tapped her fingers against her legs. She shouldn’t say anything, truly, it would ruin everything. She’s lasted this long with keeping everything to herself and would it really be worse losing Kara forever. But as she risked peeking up and noticing Kara’s kind eyes, Alex knew that...She could never see Kara hating her and truly even though nothing could ever happen maybe she’d actually feel a huge weight be lifted in being honest and truly, better to let everything out now rather than blurt it out or end up having a massive fight later.

“I don’t want anyone to touch you because I...Because I...” Running her hand through her hair Alex took a deep breath, glancing back down at their feet. “Because I’ve been in love with you since we were younger. And I realize how fucked up and bad that is and trust me it wasn’t my plan and at first I just thought it’s because you were new and hopeful and happy and I figured it would go away but it never did. It just got worse, which is why I was so...Why I was a bit of a dick earlier because I had just started finally getting over it and now your here again and my damn stomach keeps fluttering and it’s annoying and...I realize it’s wrong and stupid and so many other things and I...I’m sorry and I don’t want to lose you and trust me I’ve hated myself because of this for so long and-” 

Instantly being cut off as soft lips met her own Alex felt her entire body relax for the first time in months as all of the stress seemed to melt away as she leaned into the soft kiss. Her mind taking a moment to catch up with the fact of ‘holy shit Kara is kissing me’. The moment Kara had pulled away Alex found herself dumbly following her lips, not wanting the kiss to end, not wanting the moment to be snatched away from her. Not yet.

“I was worried you weren’t going to take a breath. Alex...I understand why you’d feel so scared and so nervous but you know I would never ever hate you, I couldn’t. And I also know you can’t help how you feel and to be honest, hearing that is kind of a relief. Because ever since I first met you I’ve always had an odd fluttering in my stomach whenever I’ve been near you, and I always thought it was because I wanted nothing more than to impress you and for you to like me. But I think...after hearing what you said. I think it’s because I love you too, and not just in the way we already love each other but I think I...really love you back, like you love me and I...I don’t know what it means or what’ll happen but I know that...I really want to kiss you again.”

Before either of them could decide what to actually do about these new realizations or to even digest them, Alex had her hands gripping Kara’s hips, pulling the girl closer to her and instantly connecting their lips again. Feeling the happiest she had truly felt for her entire life. It didn’t matter what happened after tonight, because for now, they had each other, and the world had melted away.

At least for the next seven minutes.


End file.
